Help Me
by CarsonLuke
Summary: Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash. Don't like, don't read.
1. Blood Red

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-In the dead of night, Harry learns Draco's secret.

**Author Note**-Okay, so this is my first fanfiction. I'm only fourteen, so I understand it's not the best. I like it, but I won't be mad if you don't.

**Disclaimer**-I own Harry Potter just about as much as I own Star Wars. (In other words, it ain't mine.)

**Chapter One-Blood Red**

Harry crept along the passageway on the sixth floor. He was hidden underneath the Invisibility Cloak, as Filch and Mrs. Norris were bound to be lurking somewhere at this time of night. It was deathly quiet; all Harry could hear were his footsteps, his quiet breathing, the creaking of Hogwarts, and…crying?

Harry stopped, listening intently. Yes, there it was. There was indeed crying coming from the boy's bathroom. Slowly, he crept towards the door, not wanting whoever it was to catch him snooping and get mad.

I should just go. I don't want to bother whoever it is. It's probably something personal, and they'll just yell at me. He peered at the door, trying to decide whether to go back to the Gryffindor common room or not. What if they're not okay? What if they're hurt or something?

Harry bit his lip and edged towards the door. _I'll go in and check it out. If it's nothing, I'll leave and they'll never know I was there._

Content with his decision, Harry quietly nudged the door open and stepped inside. He barely stifled a gasp at the sight he saw.

Standing over the sink was Draco Malfoy, his shoulders shaking with his sobs. In the mirror, Harry could see tears streaming down his cheeks. It was like de ja vu. Harry flashed back to the time in his sixth year when he'd stumbled upon the same sight. Except for that time, Malfoy had tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on him, and Harry'd accidently caused him to almost die of blood loss by using the Sectumsempra curse he'd found in the Half Blood Prince's book.

And this time, Malfoy was holding a knife to his inner arm. Slowly, he drew the knife across his pale skin, dark red blood trickling down his arm.

This time, Harry couldn't stop himself from gasping.

Malfoy spun around, his gray eyes wide. He frantically tried to hide the knife behind his back, but Harry had already seen.

"Bloody hell, Malfoy, are you-are you _cutting yourself?_" Harry demanded.

"Why should you care, Potter?" he hissed, the blood from his arm dripping on the wet ground, mixing with a puddle of water.

"My god, why? Why would you do that to yourself?"

Malfoy sneered his famous sneer. "I don't feel very compelled to tell you, Potter. And if you tell _anyone_ what you saw, I'll kill you, you hear? That means no running off to hold secret meeting about this with Weasly, the Weaslette, or the Mudblood. Bloody, not the Mudblood!" He swiped at his teary eyes.

He suddenly looked desperate, his cold eyes raking over Harry.

"If you tell _anyone, _I'll kill your friends and leave you alive just so you can grieve pathetically over your loss," he snarled.

Harry looked at him, pondering this. "I don't think you would, Malfoy. I really don't think you would. You couldn't kill last year. You couldn't kill Dumbledore. I don't think you've changed. Well, but the little…" He glanced at Draco's bloody arm.

"Leave me the hell alone, Potter." With that, he stalked out the door, his pale blonde head disappearing around the corner, leaving a small trail of blood behind.

**Author Note-**Do you like it? Do you hate it? Please review and tell me what you think. (it's easy, just press the little button.)


	2. Shame

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco freaks out about Harry's discovery.

**Author Note**-So this is the second chapter, and it's from Draco's POV this time. I plan to switch between Harry and Draco every other chapter for the rest of the fic, jsyk.

**Disclaimer**-Okay, if I owned the book, would I be writing fanfiction? I think not!

**Chapter Two-Shame**

Draco was horrified.

Harry fucking Potter had just learned his deepest darkest secret. The secret he'd gone to so much care to protect. He'd been so careful. He hadn't used the bathrooms in Slytherin; he'd come all the way from the dungeons to the sixth floor!

Damn Harry Potter to hell!

If he told…it would be the end of Draco. His friends would be ashamed, his family would be ashamed, his father…Oh god, his father!

He reached up and touched his left cheek, remembering what it had felt like when Lucius Malfoy had slapped him for not being able to kill Albus Dumbledore. It had stung, forcing his vision to blur. For a week afterwards, he had bore the red mark of humiliation.

But, god had he felt it when his father's hand connected with his smooth cheek. And, god had it been good. For the first time since he'd been assigned to kill Dumbledore-assigned a suicide mission-had he _felt_ something. Even if it was pain.

That night, after his father had hit him for disgracing the Malfoy name, Draco had cut himself for the first time. He'd taken the razor his mother had gotten him now that he had began to grow facial hair and drew it across the delicate skin of his palm. It was only a small cut, but it had been wonderful.

It had been good to feel something.

**Author Note-**So what do you think? Good? Bad? Good plot? Review!


	3. Secrets

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry watches Draco from afar and his secret is revealed.

**Disclaimer**-Do I won Harry Potter? Is Draco Malfoy mine? Are unicorns real? No, no, and, sadly, no.

**Chapter Three-Secrets**

Harry watched Draco out of the corner of his eye at dinner. He was seated at the Slytherin table, Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini sitting on either side of him. His back was stick straight, his pale blonde hair in need of a trim, falling nearly to his shoulders. He wore his black and green Slytherin robes, which greatly contrasted with his skin color. He looked so confident, so regal. His housemates leaned in when he talked, eating up his every word. If only they knew what he did to himself. If only they knew his secret.

"Harry, why are you staring at Ferret Boy?" Ron asked, nudging him in the ribs.

Harry snapped his attention away from Draco Malfoy and looked down at his dinner. He didn't want his best mate to see him blushing uncontrollably.

Harry Potter had a secret too. Except, his secret didn't leave scars on his skin.

When he'd dated Ginny, it hadn't felt right. He had thought it would be a wonderful bliss. Instead it had been…wrong. He hadn't liked it. He hadn't felt anything when he brushed up against her. And when he'd kissed her, it had almost made him sick. He hadn't broken up with her because he wanted to protect her, though that was a part of it. He broke up with her because he had realized something. He wasn't attracted to her. Or any girl, for that matter. He was more attracted to Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas.

"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione questioned, obviously concerned. "Are you feeling well?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all." He frowned, glancing at Malfoy over the top of his cup. He was staring directly at Harry, his face blank of any expression, his gray eyes boring into Harry's green. It was haunting. "You known, actually, I'm not feeling that well. I'm going to go lie down." He pushed his chair back from the table and walked hurriedly out of the Great Hall. He needed to get out. He needed some alone time to think over this Malfoy thing. He rounded the corner and was next to a set of tall, spotless windows when he heard the tapping.

He turned, looking towards the windows. A Great Gray Owl sat, perched on the windowsill, pecking at the glass impatiently. Harry quickly opened the window, letting the owl hop onto his arm. He took the note tied to its leg. "I'm sorry; I don't have anything for you." It hooted impatiently, pecked at his hand, and flew back out the window.

Harry frowned. He'd never seen this owl before. And why hadn't it delivered the note at dinner, like all the other owls? Slowly, Harry opened the stiff parchment and began to read.

Potter: Meet me in the gardens at midnight precisely. Be there on time, or I will leave. Draco Lucius Malfoy.

Harry stared at the neat, curling handwriting. Malfoy wanted to _talk?_ That was very un-Malfoy-like. He started down the hallway towards the staircases that would take him to the seventh floor, where Gryffindor Common Room was located. On the way, he looked out the windows at the snow covered landscape.

It was going to be _very_ cold at midnight.

**Author Note**-Review! Do it! You know you want to!

I've written the next, like, thirteen or so segments, so there shouldn't be much delay on posting them (unless I forget of course).

Also-the owl was gray because Draco's eyes are gray. If you caught that, kudos to you.


	4. Cut

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco cuts himself.

**Author Note**-Okay, this is a short one, I know. Basically, just some angst. Trust, me the Draco chapters will get better. Until then, bare with me.

**Disclaimer**-I'm not trying to claim, and if you sue me, you won't get much-just some books and a spilled on Driver's Ed manual. 

**Chapter Four-Cut**

Draco stood in the shower in the Slytherin boy's bathroom, the hot water beating down on his back. He gripped his razor, pressing it into the thin skin of his bony wrist. In one fluid motion, he drew it across, creating a cut that was deep, but not deep enough to kill.

He dropped the razor to the ground, furrowing his brow. No matter how big or how deep the cut, he had never been able to get the same amount of feeling as he had with the first cut. Now, even the cutting was beginning to stop hurting.

No matter how hard he tried, Draco couldn't stop this self-mutilation. Not that he wanted to. He liked the pain. It meant that he was feeling. A little bit, at least.

Draco watched the blood from his wrist fall the floor of the shower and swirl down the drain.

**Author's Note-**REVIEW! Do it! NOW! (Please. It really makes my day.)


	5. Darkness

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco tells Harry why he cuts.

**Disclaimer**-When I take over the world, then it will be mine, until then, not so much. 

**Chapter Five- Darkness**

Harry scanned the garden for Malfoy. He clutched his Invisibility Cloak tightly around himself. Although he was wearing nearly seven layers and probably looked like a marshmallow, he was still cold.

His breath puffed out around him in a white cloud. He looked around for another moment and finally spotted Malfoy sitting at a bench underneath a large tree, his cloak wrapped tightly around him, his pale cheeks red with the cold.

"Malfoy!" he hissed. "Are you out of your bloody mind? We could die of frostbite out here! It's December!"

"I know that, you git! I called you out here to meet in December because no one else will be out here when it's this cold! Not even Filch and his horrid cat!" Malfoy rubbed his hands together, breathing on them.

Harry frowned, not wanting to admit that it was indeed a good plan. "Why did you call me here, Malfoy?"

He looked down at his feet. "I wanted to make sure you hadn't told anyone about…you know."

He sighed. "Malfoy, I, unlike you, keep my word." He settled down on the bench next to the other man. Malfoy nodded slowly. "I think you owe me an explanation. Why do you cut yourself?"

Malfoy inhaled sharply. "If I tell you, you can't tell anyone, understand, Potter?" Harry nodded in agreement. The blonde cracked his knuckles. "I can't feel anything, Potter. It's all darkness. Ever since I was assigned to kill Dumbledore, I haven't been able to feel anything. It's like I'm always numb. Finally, I discovered that if I cut myself, I could feel something. It was so good to feel again, even if it was pain. So I kept doing it. And now I can't stop."

Harry stared at Malfoy. He had never thought that Malfoy would have so many problems, so much inner turmoil. Harry wanted to hug him, but he didn't want to scare him off. He'd always been interested in Malfoy, but he knew that Malfoy would be very skittish and would shy away from Harry.

"You can get help, you know. Try and stop doing it," he suggested.

Malfoy turned, looking at Harry with sad, stone gray eyes. "That's the scariest part, Potter. I don't want to stop."

**Author's Note-**So what do you think so far? Is it worth my time to write? Review please.


	6. Unmarred

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco has a nightmare.

**Disclaimer**-When it's mine, I'll let you guys know.

**Chapter Six-Unmarred**

Draco held the knife to his neck, ready to slit his throat. He took three deep breaths, gripping the knife tightly. He closed his eyes and dragged the knife across his throat in a deep, clean slash, cutting through his windpipe, jugular, and carotid artery. Blood spilled down his chest, poring onto the ground. Draco grasped his neck, falling to the ground. He couldn't breathe. He rolled onto his back in a pool of his own blood, trying to gasp for breath before everything went black.

Draco sat up quickly, panting. He was sweating, he noticed. His hands flew to his throat and found only smooth, unmarred skin.

Letting out a deep breath, he picked up the glass of water sitting on his bedside table, downing it. His hand shook as he set the glass down.

He'd been having these suicidal dreams for a month now. The worst ones were when he fell out of the Astronomy Tower, just as Dumbledore had.

Draco laid back down and closed his eyes, though he knew he would not sleep.

Little did the blonde know, in the top most room of the Gryffindor Tower, another boy was dreaming of him.

**Author's Note-**Okay, so how am I doing? Please, please, please review. It only takes a couple seconds and it means the world to me.


	7. Innocent Dreams

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry has a dream…about Draco?

**Author Note**-Yes, I know this is not a great scene. I am only fourteen-I have no experience in this field to rely upon. My apologies in advance.

**Disclaimer**-No matter how hard I try, I still isn't mine.

**Chapter Seven-Innocent Dreams**

Draco's lips were soft underneath Harry's. He pushed Draco up against the wall, lifting him so he was forced to wrap his legs around Harry's waist. His hands slid down the blonde's bony spin, coming to rest on his gaunt hips. He trailed kisses down the other boy's neck, nibbling on his throat. Draco arched his back, pressing up against Harry and offering more of his throat to the dark haired boy.

Harry's hands tangled in Draco's long, pale hair, pulling his mouth to meet his. Draco moaned, and Harry took the opportunity to let his tongue explore the open mouth. He came up for air, staring into the gray eyes. Draco tried to slide back down to the ground, but Harry, growling, yanked him up against his body, pressing them center to center and captured his mouth again.

Harry woke with a start, frowning. Why the hell had he just dreamed about kissing Malfoy? Yes he was homosexual, but…Malfoy?

Frowning, Harry fell back against his pillow, falling back into a deep slumber.

**Author's Note-**Once again, sorry for the bad make-out scene. Still review, though.


	8. Feel

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco's secret almost gets discovered.

**Disclaimer**-Sadly, the amazingly sexy Draco Malfoy is not mine, along with any other Harry Potter characters.

**Chapter Eight-Feel**

Draco sat in the Slytherin bathroom, holding the razor to his arm. Quickly, he brought it across his inner arm, the blood dripping onto the ground. He was about to bring the razor across his fragile skin again when a knock at the door startled him.

"Draco, dear, I'd like to speak with you," Pansy Parkinson called out in a singsong voice.

"Um, one moment, Pansy!" he shouted back, hurriedly storing his razor in the pocket of his Slytherin robes. He tugged the sleeves down over his arms, hurrying to the door. He flung it open, standing in the doorway. "Yes, Parkinson?"

"I just wanted to ask you for help on the Potions assignment." She smiled up at him seductively. It made Draco's skin crawl.

"I busy, Parkinson," he snapped, glowering at her.

She pouted up at him. "But, Draco…" She stopped, looking down at his robes. "Draco, is that blood on your robes?"

His heart rate began to pick up. It was only because he was very good at masking his emotions that he was able to keep a bored expression on his pointed face. "I was shaving and I dropped my razor and it cut me. Anymore questions? If not, do go away." With that, he turned around, slamming the door behind him.

Damn it was good to feel, but bloody hell was it getting dangerous.

**Author's Note-**What do you think? Does this story have potential? Please review and tell me.


	9. Addicted

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco and Harry meet and Harry reassures Draco.

**Disclaimer**-I am now the proud owner of the Harry Potter series! JK Rowling just gave me her baby no questions asked, and it's mine! Okay, so If you believed what I just said, you should get yourself checked out at the doctor. It's. Not. Mine.

**Chapter Nine-Addicted**

Harry sat in one of the empty, unused classrooms, waiting for Malfoy to show up. He'd been owled by Draco, saying they needed to speak, immediately.

Harry looked up as the door opened. Draco closed the door behind himself, his black and green robes brushing against the floor. His pale blonde hair was slightly messy and his forehead was creased with stress lines. He, Harry noticed, was barefoot.

"You wanted to speak with me," Harry said from the spot where he was sitting on the floor.

"Pansy Parkinson almost caught me. I was cutting when she knocked on the door and she saw blood. Someone's going to figure it out. You did, Potter, and now Pansy's close."

"Well, isn't it obvious? Stop cutting and no one will be able to find out." He shrugged at what seemed to evident to him.

"It's not that easy, though, Potter. I can't stop. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop. It's an addiction. Except, I'm not addicted to heroine or meth, I'm addicted to hurting myself." The taller boy's eyes were frantic, his hand twitching uncontrollably.

Harry blew out a breath. "No one's going to discover you're secret. You just need to be more careful about where you do it." Noticing the other's only half convinced nod, Harry stood up, looking him in the eye. This close to him, he couldn't help but think about his dream. Harry stared at his thin lips. Would they be as soft in real life? "Listen, Malfoy. I'm not going to tell anyone. You can trust me. I swear."

**Author's Note-**You know what to do! Review! (Hey! I rhymed!)


	10. Homecoming

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco and Lucius have a…*ahem* …pleasant discussion.

**Disclaimer**-If you haven't realized by now that it's not mine, I suggest you get yourself some help. Preferably in the mental area.

**Chapter Ten-Homecoming **

Draco looked back at Hogwarts and sighed. He desperately did not want to go home for the holidays. He knew, at home, people would be watching him much more closely. It would be very hard to cut.

"Draco."

He winced, turning toward the cold, harsh voice. "Father." He watched Lucius Malfoy, who had only recently gotten out of Azkaban.

"How has your schooling been going? Perfect grades, I expect." Lucius turned on his heel and began down the walk towards the gates. "It is, of course, the least you could do after failing to comply with orders," he said in a low voice that only Draco could hear. "You made a fool of yourself, and, more importantly, me."

"Yes, Father. I am sorry, Father. I have been doing my best in school. I am excelling in Potions."

"As I would expect. How is Severus Snape? He is the new Headmaster now that Dumbledore is dead, no thanks to you, may I add." Before he could respond, Lucius turned on his heel and Apparated, leaving Draco to do so himself.

**Author's Note-**How am I doing? Am I portraying the character's well? Push the button and tell me! (Sorry, you most likely will not win a trip by pushing the button. But, by all means, go for it.)


	11. Longing

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry misses Draco and judges his soul.

**Disclaimer**-It's still not mine. But never fear; I have a plan.

**Chapter Eleven-Longing**

Harry, who never went home during the holidays, sat at the table in the Great Hall next to Ron. Hermione had gone home to visit her parents, as had Ginny. Harry leaned on his elbows, staring at the nearly empty Slytherin table. It was odd, looking over there and not seeing the pale haired, tall framed, skinny boy that was Draco Malfoy. Harry almost…missed it.

Frowning deeply, Harry jerked his attention away from the table, but was unable to stop thinking about the Slytherin himself. What was Draco doing right now? Was he cutting himself? Or was he spending time with his evil parents?

Harry thought about how different Draco was when it was only Harry there to see and hear him. Without his posse, he was almost…nice. If that was possible. But it couldn't be. Malfoy was a cold, evil bastard.

Then again, he couldn't help but remember his eyes. His sad, scared eyes that were normally devoid of any emotion. Maybe, deep down, he wasn't actually all that bad. Maybe, this stuck up, self centered thing was all just an act he put on to get attention. Maybe, he really was a nice person underneath the pretentious exterior.

And maybe Harry was beginning to see that side of him. And maybe it made Harry like him, if only just a little bit.

**Author's Note-** By now, I hope you know what I want you to do. I mean, I've telling you to do it for the past ten chapters.


	12. Happy Holidays

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco and his father have a fight over the holidays.

**Author Note**-Okay. This chapter was very hard to write. I've written child abuse stories, but I've never written one where the abused liked feeling the pain. This was quite hard to do. Read and tell me if I did good.

**Disclaimer**-I just posted the last chapter a couple minutes ago. Do you really think that I could require such an amazing series in a couple minutes?

**Chapter Twelve-Happy Holidays**

Draco picked at the food on his plate, not really eating any of it. His father sat at the head of the table and his mother sat across from him, being silent as usual.

"It has taken awhile, but I've gotten us back on relatively good terms with the Dark Lord," Lucius began. This was the fifty-third thing he's said about the Dark Lord. Draco was counting. "Of course, after your failure, it wasn't easy."

"Would you stop saying that?" the pale boy shouted. "I'm tired of hearing it! I'm tired of everything fourth sentence you say being about my failure! I'm sorry! I don't want to be a killer! Will you fucking stop mentioning it?"

Lucius clenched his teeth, glaring at him. "How dare you, Draco? How dare you talk to me that way? Come here!" He didn't for wait for Draco to come to him; he simply stood and stormed over to him, dragging him to his feet by the collar of his robes. "You'll be sorry you ever said that, Draco Lucius Malfoy."

And with that, he raised his hand and punched his son across the face. Narcissa Malfoy drew in a sharp breath and Draco fell to the ground, seeing stars. It hurt. Bloody hell, it hurt. He could taste blood and his vision was blurry, but he could feel it. And that was amazing.

Gingerly, Draco touched his cheek.

Lucius clenched his fists, but he didn't hit him. Instead, he kicked him in the jaw, a searing pain shooting through Draco.

"You horrid little coward. Get out of my sight," Draco's father snarled.

Draco scurried out of the dining room, perfectly content to stay in his room for the rest of the holidays with the house elves bringing him food.

**Author's Note-**Okay, so, this is chapter twelve. How's it going so far? Please review! Whether it's a compliment or constructive criticism, please just do it.


	13. Bruised

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-The holidays are over and Harry rejoices in seeing Draco again, but what happens when he sees the bruises?

**Author Note**-While reading this, keep in mind I'm only fourteen and this is my first Fanfic.

**Disclaimer**-I own Harry Potter just about as much as I own Star Wars. (In other words, it ain't mine.)

**Chapter Thirteen-Bruised **

Harry scanned the crowds, looking for Malfoy. Where was he? All the students that had left for the holidays were back, but so far, Harry had not seen Malfoy's pale hair.

What if, while he was gone, Malfoy's parents had caught him cutting? What would happen to him then? Would they let him come back to Hogwarts? Would they keep him at home, trying to get him to stop? The idea sent a wave of dread through Harry's body. He only recently began to see the other side of him-what if he could never see it again?

And what if Malfoy came back and wanted nothing to do with him? What if, by seeing his parents, he had once again realized that he hated Harry and wanted to do nothing but hurt him?

What would happen then? Would they just stop talking? Harry wasn't sure if that was possible for him. If they stopped meeting, what would happen with his cutting? If no one knew and he had no one to talk to, what would the end result be? If he had no one to help him, would he just…continue doing it until it killed him?

No. pushing those thoughts, from his head, Harry continued his pursuit. He wouldn't let himself get worked up over it. If Malfoy didn't want anything to do with him, well that was his fault. If he went back to his normal, sneering self, then maybe he hadn't changed at all. Maybe he was still a self-centered, stuck up bitch.

He was hurrying down the halls on his way to Potions when he spotted his target and immediately began over to him, seeing as no one was watching and Ron was talking to Hermione. As he neared Draco, he noticed something horribly wrong.

And for once, it wasn't that blood was dripping from his wrist.

Under his left eye, there was a big, purplish bruise. On the side of his jaw, another bruise also marred his perfect skin.

"Draco," Harry whispered, using the boy's first name.

"Go away, Potter," he mumbled, not meeting the dark haired teen's eyes.

"Meet me in the boy's bathroom on the sixth floor at midnight," Harry ordered.

Draco didn't answer, just simply turned and headed into Potions, but Harry knew he'd be there.

**Author's Note-**So what are you guys thinking? Thank you so much, to everyone whose read my fic. Every time I open up my email account and see someone's added it to their alerts, I freak out. Please keep reading and reviewing-it makes my day.


	14. Superhero

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco confesses to Harry.

**Disclaimer**-It's much to wonderful to have been invented by my ninth-grader mind.

**Chapter Fourteen-Superhero **

Draco walked into the boy's bathroom at midnight exactly. He was on time, as always. As a Malfoy, he had been raised to know that it was shameful and dishonorable to be late. You were to be on time, but not early, seeing as then, you might have to help. He stared at Potter, who was leaning up against the wall, hands tucked into the pockets of his robes. His Invisibility Cloak was draped over his arm, his wand sticking out of his pocket. Harry's black hair was messy and his glasses were crooked, Draco noted. The boy really needed some help when it came to looks. His glasses were horrid, his clothes wrinkled. And the least he could do was comb his hair thoroughly.

"Why do you look like you got in a fight with a hippogriff?" Harry's voice was soft, snapping Draco out of his thoughts.

He frowned at Harry distastefully. He didn't know why he was here-in fact, he didn't know why he was telling Potter anything. Potter, of all people. It was sad really. He was Draco Malfoy. He had people lining up to talk to him, especially the younger Slytherins. Of course, if they knew what he did to himself, none of them would want to even look at him. It was funny, really. They adored him, until they heard that he had flaws. After that, they wanted nothing to do with him.

Sorry, he thought to himself. Sorry I can't be your damned superhero.

He'd been lying to himself about why he was even meeting with Potter. There were many he'd used to justify why he was here. Potter was making him. Potter would tell everyone if Draco didn't comply. Potter was threatening him. The real reason he was talking to Potter, however, was because it felt good to be able to dump his problems on someone else's shoulders.

Inhaling a deep breath, he cast his eyes to the wet floor and muttered, "My father got angry."

He could practically feel Potter's eyes widen. "You mean to tell me your father _hit_ you? Your father gave you those bruises?"

Draco refused to look up at the other boy. "I mean exactly what I said. I said something and my father got mad."

Potter was silent for a long while. "Draco, please look at me."

Draco slowly raised his eyes to meet his. Potter's were sympathetic, worried. His, he knew, were teary.

He hated crying. He hated showing anyone he had weaknesses, especially Potter.

But he couldn't keep them back. For so long, Draco had been carefully controlling his emotions. He rarely let himself cry, except for rare occasions when he was alone. And, apparently, it was only so long before a man broke down and cried. Really cried.

Potter was surprised, Draco knew. He hadn't expected him to cry, and know his eyes were wide, staring at Draco.

Sorry, Potter. I'm not your superhero.


	15. Embrace

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-In the dead of night, Harry learns Draco's secret.

**Author Note**-Harry kisses Draco.

**Disclaimer**-As much as I hate to admit it, it's not mine. Probably ever will be.

**Chapter Fifteen-Embrace**

Harry leaned forward and gently wiped the tears from Draco's eyes. He ran his hand over the bruise gently. He was so broken, so hurt. Suddenly, Harry was filled with a great amount of anger. No one was allowed to touch Draco. No one was allowed to hurt him.

Harry didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late.

He leaned forward into Draco and kissed him.

On the lips.

He felt Draco suck in a breath, but he didn't move to get out of the embrace. He was completely still as Harry kissed him. He reached up and ran his hands through his pale hair, delighting in the soft, smooth feeling of it under his fingers.

Tentatively, he ran his hands down Draco's sides, coming to rest on his back, pulling him closer. The kiss remained gentle, tender, as he didn't want to frighten Malfoy.

It felt amazing to have Malfoy's lips against his own. Though Harry was gay, he'd never actually kissed another man. In fact, he hadn't even told anyone he was gay.

It was odd to think that Malfoy, of all people, was his first kiss.

Then again, Malfoy wasn't as bad as he made himself out to be.

**Author's Note-**I know I've been getting a lot of advice on making the chapters longer, but I'm not very good at chapter length, and with this fic, it just really doesn't work. please keep reviewing though.


	16. Wrong

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco's reaction to Harry kissing him-will it be good or bad?

**Disclaimer**-I'm running out of funny ways to say I don't own Harry Potter.

**Chapter Sixteen-Wrong **

Draco was caught very much of guard when Potter began snogging him. He was too surprised to shove him away and swear loudly. All he could do was stand there and let himself be kissed.

Potter's hands were on the small of his back, tugging him up against the other boy. Though he was taller than him, Draco felt helpless against him. Harry's tongue flicked along his bottom lip and he gasped, surprised. Potter immediately took this as an invitation to enter the blonde's mouth, bringing his hands up to cup the back of his neck, pulling Draco closer.

It felt…good.

Draco wasn't used to being loved. His father had been very harsh and hadn't believed in expressing his love to his son…if he even loved him at all, that is. His mother was a bit better, but she didn't defy Lucius's orders. He didn't have any siblings, and all the girl's he'd ever been with were just looking to get laid.

It felt wrong.

Potter was a _man_. Draco had never even dreamed of kissing another man in his lifetime. He had been with so many people, but never someone of the same gender. He _knew_ this was wrong. He _knew_ that he shouldn't be doing this. He _knew_ his father would kill him if he ever found out.

I should just push him away and never talk to him again, Draco thought.

Potter, however, really truly seemed to care about him.

And Draco didn't know how to respond to that.


	17. Disease

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry tries to get Draco to tell people about his cutting and Draco reacts badly.

**Author Note**-So, I finished the fic today, laying in bed feeling sick to my stomach. SO there's no worry that I'll drop it and never finish it. Just so you know, it's thirty chapters, including an epilogue. 

**Disclaimer**-Sadly, I make no profit off this or the Harry Potter series.

**Chapter Seventeen-Disease **

Harry pulled away from Draco gasping. Oh bloody hell. He'd just kissed _Draco Malfoy._ He braced himself, waiting for Malfoy's fist to connect with his face. But it never did. Looking at him, Harry didn't see hate or anger; in fact all he saw was…confusion.

"That was…interesting, Potter," Draco whispered, his voice hoarse.

He nodded, not trusting his own voice. He took several deep, calming breaths before speaking. "You should tell McGonagall or Snape or someone about the cutting."

Draco's eyes widened in horror. "Are you crazy, Potter? If I tell Snape, my father will immediately get wind of it! And I can't tell McGonagall…she already hates me!"

"Malfoy, you're overreacting. McGonagall doesn't hate you. If you just tell her-" he began.

"You don't get it, do you? I don't want to tell anyone. I _can't _tell anyone. Do you have any idea what they would think? It's a disease, and people seem to think it's contagious. No one would want to be near me, much less _talk_ to me. I'm not overreacting. If I tell, they'll hate me."

With that, Draco stood and fled from the bathroom, his robes flying behind him.

As much as it pained Harry, he knew it would be useless to go after him.

**Author's Note-**Review please. I've gotten a couple already, and it really makes me happy.


	18. Problems

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco decides that Harry won't have to deal with him anymore.

**Disclaimer**-Not mine. End of Story.

**Chapter Eighteen-Problems**

And Draco thought Potter understood.

Well, boy was he wrong.

Potter just wanted him to tell so he wouldn't have to deal with Draco's problems anymore. He just wanted to pass Draco off to the next person. He wanted Draco to tell his teachers so they could handle with him.

His teeth clenched in rage, Draco drew the razor across the skin of his inner arm. As the blood welled and spilled over into the sink, he became a bit calmer. The cutting was his release. If he had a reason for doing it, why should he tell anyone? In fact, if he told, they would make him stop, and then he wouldn't be able to feel anything.

The blonde shuddered at the idea, standing.

So, Potter doesn't want to deal with my problems, does he? Draco thought. Well, then by Merlin, he won't have to deal with my problems.


	19. Telling

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry tries to tell McGonagall about Draco's secret.

**Disclaimer**-It. Ain't. Mine.

**Chapter Nineteen-Telling**

Harry sat in a plush red chair in front of Professor McGonagall's desk. She sat on the other side of it, peering at him, a quizzical expression on her face.

"Tell me, Mr. Potter, why are you here today?" she asked, tapping her quill on the neat stack of papers.

He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Should he tell her? It would help Draco, whether he saw it that way or not.

But then again, Draco had seemed so…scared of anyone else finding out about his problem. Harry knew he needed help, but he didn't want to...hurt him.

If Harry told Professor McGonagall, would Draco hate him?

And what would Harry do if he did?

"Mr. Potter," she repeated, "why are you here today?"

He cleared his throat and stared at her for another moment. "Professor, in need to talk to you about…You, see, I…What I wanted to tell you is…You should know…I need to tell you that…I'm sorry, Professor McGonagall, I need to go." Pushing his chair away from the desk, Harry stood up and fled from the office, ignoring his teacher's shouts.

He couldn't do it. He simply couldn't do it. He couldn't give up Draco's secret without his consent. He couldn't hurt Draco. He couldn't make Draco hate him.

He was in way over his head.

**Author's Note-Review. It's easy. **


	20. Freefalling

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco decides that maybe he'd be better off dead.

**Disclaimer**-Everything Harry Potter related is the property of J.K. Rowling. And me! (Just kidding)

**Chapter Twenty-Freefalling**

Draco sat on his Nimbus 2001, hovering over the Quidditch Pitch, far away from his other team members, who were practicing with the Quaffle at the other end. He looked down at the stands, where no one sat.

He gripped the handles on his broom, beads of sweat pouring down his forehead. He stared up into the glaring September sun. Blinking, he gazed back down to the ground. It was so far below him.

Draco tugged up his sleeves, staring at the first three scars that marked the underside of his wrist. He hated them. He hated looking at them. He hated himself for putting them there. He hated himself, period.

He looked back down at the ground again. He was so far _up._ If he were to fall right now, the impact would break his back. He knew it would. It'd snap his neck. Crush his airways. He wouldn't be able to breathe. He would…die.

Draco glanced around, his gray eyes on the other players. They weren't watching him. They wouldn't notice, would they? No. Of course not. And when they did, their brooms wouldn't get there fast enough. It would be as if he had simply lost his balance. It would be thought of as a horrible tragedy. No one would be the wiser. Except, maybe Potter. But he wouldn't tell. He swore not to tell. And, if he told, he would be berated by the professors for not telling anyone that Draco needed help.

He cast one last glance around himself, gripping the handles on his broom. He squeezed his eyes shut and released his grip. With one last breath, he heaved his weight to his left, sending his sliding off the broom.

There was one moment of sheer panic, and then he was falling.

**Author's Note-**So how is it going? I'm happy with it so far. Are you? Tell me.


	21. Hatred

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-What will Harry do when he sees Draco falling?

**Author's Note-**Yes, I know, the Accio thing is a long shot. But I couldn't find a better spell, so that's the one I used. If you have any better suggestions, I'm all ears.

**Disclaimer**-Nope.

**Chapter Twenty-One-Hatred **

Harry was just walking into the Pitch from the Gryffindor locker room when he spotted the players on the Quidditch field. He looked down at his broom and scowled. No one had bothered to tell him that Slytherin was practicing.

Slightly annoyed, he began scanning the players, trying to find Draco. He wasn't among the group of men-Slytherin was extremely sexist-tossing the Quaffle around. Frowning, Harry saw that he was on the other side of the Pitch, extremely high up. What was he doing?

Draco sat there, unmoving for a long time while Harry watched him. What could he be doing? Was he watching for the Snitch?

The blonde's head swiveled for moment, as if he was looking for something. Then, he flung violently to his left and slid off his broom.

His back arched, his limbs flailing about.

He was plummeting towards the ground.

He was going to die.

Eyes wide, Harry jumped onto his Firebolt and shot quickly towards Draco. There were a few shouts from the Slytherin team at the interruption, but as soon as they saw his target, they fell into pursuit behind him, screaming at Draco.

Harry leaned forward on his broom, willing it to go faster. What if he didn't make it in time? What if he was too late to save the boy?

This wasn't just some Quidditch game. This wasn't the Snitch he was after. This was so much more important.

What if…What if Draco actually…died?

Harry leaned in farther, forcing the broom faster. He was nearly parallel with it now, and something was dawning on him. If he made it to Malfoy, how would he catch him?

Harry didn't stop to figure it out.

Draco was too far out of his reach.

He wasn't going to get to him in time.

Taking one hand off his broom, Harry groped around in his pocket, finally coming up with his wand. "Accio, Malfoy!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

At first, it didn't seem to work. Then Draco began to slow, gradually coming towards Harry. When he was within arm's length, Harry reached out and grabbed him, settling him on the back of his broom and taking off towards the castle.

He flew in through the large, open window of the owlery, setting Draco down on the dirty floor.

"Draco, bloody hell, are you okay?" he asked, his voice worried.

The blonde turned towards him, his eyes full of hatred.

**Author's Note-**Once again, sorry for the crappy Accio Malfoy! Thing. I hate it. You probably do to. Still review though.


	22. Pity

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco explodes on Harry.

**Disclaimer**-Ugh-ugh.

**Chapter Twenty-Two-Pity **

Draco glared at Harry. He ruined it. He ruined everything.

"Damn it, Potter, why do you always have to be a fucking hero?" he screamed.

He stared at him, obviously shocked. "What? You we're falling. You were going to die! I was trying to save you!"

"Potter, you git, I didn't want saving! I didn't fall off my broom, I jumped off! Damn it, I didn't want anyone to save me! I was trying to kill myself!"

Potter stared at me, his mouth slightly agape. "Draco…I…Why? Yes you've got problems, but, bloody hell; you don't need to take a swan dive off your broomstick to solve them!"

"You don't understand, Potter," he spat. "You'll _never_ understand."

"I want to understand, Draco." His voice was calm, but his eyes held a scared, slightly nervous light. "I want to help you."

"Yah, well, I don't want you to. So just run on back to your little friends and your little fan club and be their Savoir again. And listen to me when I say I don't _need_ you. I don't need The Boy Who Lived. And I most certainly don't want any of your damn pity! Don't you_ dare_ pity me, Harry Potter! Just forget me and my problems and your stupid invented romance! I hate you-I always have, I always will! Don't come anywhere near me again, and if I die, don't even care! I know you don't really! You just want to hand me off to the teachers so you don't have to deal with my problems again! Well, you, Potter, can just go to hell!"

Draco turned away from the shocked Golden Boy and stormed out of the owlery.

'Damn you Harry Potter!' he wanted to scream. 'Damn you for tricking me into thinking you cared! Damn you for making me think I liked you! Damn you for trying to pass me off to the next person! Damn you for hurting me! And, mostly, damn you for not letting me kill myself!'

**Author's Note-**Please review-it only takes a few seconds.


	23. Apologize

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry owls Draco, trying to apologize.

**Disclaimer**-Nada.

**Chapter Twenty-Three-Apologize **

Harry sat in his room, the curtains pulled around his bed so Ron and the others wouldn't disturb him. He had his quill in one hand, the parchment on his knee, and the ink in the other hand.

He furrowed his brow, tapping the quill thoughtfully on his chin. What exactly did one say to a rich, suicidal teenage wizard?

Frowning deeply, he began to write.

Dear Draco,

I truly and profoundly sorry that I hurt you. That was never my intention. I only wanted to help you. By trying to get you to tell McGonagall, I was not trying to get rid of you, I was only trying to get you help.

When I saw you falling, I immediately went to rescue you. Although I know you want to hear it, I cannot say that if I knew you were trying to kill yourself, I would have let you. I still would have done anything possible to save you.

Please stop ignoring me, Draco.

Sincerely,

Harry James Potter

There, he thought, sitting up. That ought to do it.

Smiling slightly to himself, Harry stood up and walked over to the window where Hedwig sat, perched on the windowsill. He tied the note to her leg, leaning into to whisper, "To Draco Malfoy."

Hedwig hooted angrily once, then took off.

Harry watched as the snowy owl turned into a barely visible white speck, then disappeared completely.

**Author's Note-**Just do it.


	24. Desperation

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco confronts Harry, telling him to leave him alone.

**Disclaimer**-Still no.

**Chapter Twenty-Four-Desperation **

Draco shredded the note in outrage. Has he or had he not told Potter to fuck off and leave him the hell alone?

Okay, so maybe the first part of the letter had made him want to forgive Harry. But then he went and ruined it with the second paragraph.

And then he had the _nerve_ to send Draco seven more letters. Obviously, if he wasn't replying, he didn't want to talk!

And that was what led him to be standing in front of Potter in the boy's bathroom on the sixth floor with eight sheets of parchment paper, all with Potter's horrid handwriting scrawled over the page.

"Stop stalking me, Potter!" Draco shrieked. "I made it quite clear I didn't want to talk! Quit sending me these damn letters! I want it to stop immediately! I hate you, Potter! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I-"

He was very abruptly and very rudely cut off by Harry grabbing him around the waist and crushing their mouths together.

And, with that, Draco completely forgot the whole rant he'd worked up in his head. He melted against Potter, rejoicing in the strong arms that held him up, for without them, he most definitely would have fallen on his face and made a complete fool out of himself.

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, kissing Harry back this time. This kiss was desperate, frantic. Harry's hands ran over his chest, causing a shiver to race down his spine.

Harry had him backed up against the cold, stone wall where, Draco realized, with a small amount of panic, there was no possibility of escape.

**Author's Note-**Review-I need them.


	25. Scarred

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry finally sees Draco's scars.

**Disclaimer**-I wish,

**Chapter Twenty-Five-Scarred **

Harry was exceedingly surprised when Draco had kissed him back. He'd been ranting and going on and on like a maniac, and Harry had felt the need to shut him up, so he had kissed him. He'd expected Draco to try and kill him at the very least, but instead, he'd kissed him back.

And he was pressed up against the wall, Harry leaning against him, snogging him. His hands shoved the blonde's Slytherin robes off his shoulders, causing them to drift to an untidy pile on the floor. His mouth left Draco's trailing kisses down the boy's pale neck. He tugged at the hem of the other boy's shirt, managing to only break the kiss to get it over his head.

And that's when Draco went completely and utterly still.

At first Harry didn't know exactly why. Then he saw a sight that would haunt him for a long time.

Up and down both of his inner arms, from wrists to shoulders, were thin, dark scars, each about half an inch from the next. There were more, too. Bigger, uglier ones marred the pale skin of his stomach and ribs.

Some of the scars were healed and older looking, but other had obviously been inflicted very recently. In fact, some were still open wounds.

"Oh, Draco, bloody hell," Harry whispered, finally regaining his voice.

Draco's stone colored eyes were wide, full of terror.

"Draco, you need to stop that. You need to get help." Harry's voice was slightly panicky as he scanned Draco for more scars.

He didn't say anything, simply took his shirt back from Harry, slipped it on, and bent down to retrieve his robes. When he straightened back up, there were tears in his eyes. However, none spilled down his pale cheeks. He remained quiet as he put his robes back on.

He wouldn't look at Harry as he fled from the bathroom.

**Author's Note-**Review. Please. Or I'll get you! (jk)


	26. Ruined

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco makes a very bid mistake.

**Disclaimer**-Not mine.

**Chapter Twenty-Six-Ruined **

The tears streaming down Draco's cheeks were making it very hard to see.

Potter was never supposed to see them. He was never supposed to see his scars. But he had, and Draco had seen the look on his face.

He had been horrified. Repulsed.

And what did Draco expect? He was a horrid person. Despicable. He should just kill himself, right here, in the Slytherin Common Room, and put everyone out of their misery. It's not like anyone would _really_ care. His parents would be relieved, the Death Eaters would be ecstatic, the student body would rejoice, and Harry…well, Harry might be the slightest bit saddened. But he would get over it. There were plenty of other fish in the sea.

Everyone was down at the Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff Quidditch game, so no one would know what had happened to him. And if they ever found out, they wouldn't care.

Realizing at the moment he couldn't be walked in on, Draco pulled his razor blade from his pockets and slid it across his wrists.

Delighting in the pain, he did it again. And again. Over and over and over again.

He was too worked up to hear the footsteps coming from the Slytherin Boy's Dormitory.

"Bloody hell, Malfoy, are you cutting yourself?"

Blaise Zabini's voice startled Draco out of his thoughts and self-hate. He stared at his Housemate for a moment. Then he realized what was going on. Zabini had seen him. He'd just watched him cut himself. He knew his secret.

Zabini's face broke into a broad grin. "Oh, Malfoy, you stupid cowardly git. I'm going to tell everyone. You're so _ruined._"

That, Malfoy knew, was the absolute truth.

And, by Merlin, there was only one way to get out of this mess.

**Author's Note-**It's almost over! I can't believe it! what will I do with my free time after this?


	27. Laughter

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry goes to meet a slightly mental Draco.

**Disclaimer**-I'm not that good of a writer.

**Chapter Twenty-Seven-Laughter **

Harry was thoroughly confused by the fact that Draco wanted to meet him in the bathroom again.

But, Harry knew, he had fallen for the boy, so he would come.

The scars had scared him. He was going to get Draco help, of that he was certain. The boy needed it. He was a mess. Whether he liked it or not, he needed to seek help and stop cutting himself, before it killed him.

Harry was going to tell him this, but then Draco walked in. His pale, normally immaculate blonde hair was messy, sticking up oddly. His clothes were rumpled and bloodstained. And his eyes, his eyes were the scariest. They were wide and red from crying, but they lacked any emotion. They were like stone walls, entirely blank.

Harry stepped towards Draco, smoothing his hair. "Draco, are you okay? What happened?"

He just stared at him, silent for the longest time. Then, like a bad horror movie, he began to laugh.

**Author's Note-**Review.


	28. Numb

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Draco decides he's capable of killing.

**Disclaimer**-Not claiming it, don't sue.

**Chapter Twenty-Eight-Numb**

The laughter bubbled out of him uncontrollably. It was nearly three minutes before he got himself under control again. He stared at Potter, whose emerald eyes were filled with concern. "It's all gone to hell, Potter."

"What do you mean?" he asked. Really, Potter, you are such an ignorant little git sometimes.

"This game I've we've been playing. My cutting. My self-harm. You said it I should get help before something bad happened, and I guess you were finally right. Something bad happened. Blaise Zabini saw me cut. He saw it, every last bit. And he's going to tell. Everyone's going to know. The teachers, Snape, the school, my father, even Lord fucking Voldemort." Another burst of insane laughter trickled out of him.

Harry's eyes were wide. "Draco, how could you be so foolish?" He took a deep breath, rubbing his temples. "It's fine. Don't let anyone get to you. Be strong."

"You were wrong, you know, Potter," Draco said suddenly, his blank eyes searching Harry's face. "I am capable of killing."

"Bloody hell, Draco, you aren't thinking of killing Zabini before he can tell anyone, are you? Even I don't like that guy, but I don't think-"

"Silly, silly Potter. I'm not planning on killing Zabini," he said, pulling his wand form his pocket. "I'm planning on killing myself."

Harry stared at him with an expression of sheer horror on his face. "Draco, there are other options. We can erase Zabini's memory. We can get the teachers to force him not to tell. We can-"

"You don't get it, do you, Potter? The Zabini thing was just the last straw. I can't take it anymore. I can't take my father's judgmental comments. I can't handle everyone hating me. I can't handle hating myself. And mostly, I can't handle not being able to feel. I'm so numb. All the time. It's like I'm living in cold and darkness. And now, even when I cut I'm barely feeling it. It's only a matter of time before everything goes away. I can't take it anymore. I need to escape. And this is the only option."

**Author's Note-**Review please!


	29. Lifeless

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry tries to stop Draco, but will it work?

**Disclaimer**-It's mine. It always has been. JK Rowling stole it from me! Okay, I only wish. It's not mine.

**Chapter Twenty-Nine-Lifeless **

Harry stared at Draco. He couldn't be serious. Taking his own life was not the best option here. Did he really think it was?

Harry's voice was soft. "Draco, this isn't the answer. You can't kill yourself."

This time, it wasn't Harry who kissed Draco, it was Draco who kissed Harry. It was just a soft, tender meeting of lips, but it spoke so much more than words. Harry opened his eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Harry. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I hurt everyone. I need to make it stop. Please don't try and prevent me." He eyes were hopeful, begging. "I'm a nightmare. I can't think. I can't function. I can't feel. Please just let me do this."

He took in a deep breath, then let it out. "I won't stop you."

Draco's eyes were so happy, so thankful. It broke Harry's heart. He brushed his lips over the ebony haired boys one more time before stepping back. "Thank you, Harry. Thank you so much." He raised his wand. "And Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Please forgive me."

Harry didn't answer. He couldn't speak. He simply nodded, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Draco closed his eyes, bringing his wand up to point at himself. He took three long, deep breaths, then opened his eyes, staring directly into Harry's. "Avada Kedavra."

Harry watched as a jet of green light shot out of the end of Draco's wand, followed by a rushing sound. The light hit Draco square in the chest. He fell backwards, landing with a thud.

Tears streamed down Harry's face as he rushed to Malfoy's side. He was still, unmoving. Harry sobbed, clutching his still warm hand. Though he looked peaceful, as if he had simply fallen asleep, Harry knew better. This was what the Killing Curse did. That was what Draco had used on himself. He was gone.

He wept, rocking back and forth slightly. Why? Why did life have to be so cruel? First Sirius, then Dumbledore, and now this?

He stared into Draco's gray eyes. They were lifeless. Blank. Unmoving.

Dead.

**Author's Note- **This chapter was so hard to write. I love emo Draco so much, and it was very hard for me to kill him.

There's only the epilogue left, which is sad. Now I have to start working on one of my other ideas. I really don't want to. I loved this story.

Review and tell me what you thought about the chapter/fic/Draco dying/anything else you want to say.


	30. Epilogue

**Title**-Help Me

**Author**-CarsonLuke

**Rating**-M for language and because I'm paranoid.

**Story Summary**-Both Harry and Draco have secrets. Can they help each other with them? Or will Draco's secret destroy them both? Warning-HPDM Slash.

**Chapter Summary**-Harry is feeling lost after Draco's death and McGonagall takes him to visit Draco's room.

**Author Note**-This takes place about a week after Draco died.

**Disclaimer**-It's still sadly not mine.

**Epilogue **

"Here we are, Harry. Mr. Malfoy's bed was the last on the right," Professor McGonagall said, her voice full of pity and concern. "His things haven't been touched. His parents didn't want them. You may take whatever you want. I know you two were close near the time of his death. It's tragic when someone so young decides to take their own life. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, you may come see me. I'll leave you alone for awhile now. I'll be out in the common room if you need me."

Harry nodded, watching her leave. As soon as she left, Harry sank down onto the bed that had been Draco's and wept. It has been a week since Draco had died, and Harry was convinced a part of himself had gone with him. These days he barely talked to his friends, and never to anyone else. He was one of the few that seemed to mourn the loss. Ron was grateful, Ginny didn't care, Hermione was slightly sad, and Pansy Parkinson was in tears-for the attentions it brought her.

Wiping his eyes Harry looked in the mirror. He had lost weight, his cheeks were hollow, and he was in need of a haircut. But it was his eyes that frightened him the most.

They looked exactly like Draco's had when he had laid on the bathroom floor, Harry crying over him.

Harry had dead eyes.

Blinking away the rest of his tears, he sat up and began to go through Draco's things. Mostly, there were fine, silk clothes, and a stack of leather-bound books, along with his textbooks. Harry picked up a black shirt with green trim and something clattered to the floor.

He bent down and retrieved it.

It was Draco's razorblade.

Harry turned it over in his hands, marveling at it. This small thing was the source of so much pain and so much relief in Draco's life. This is what he had used to make the numbness go away.

Harry set it down, rolling up his sleeves and staring at the smooth, unmarred skin of his inner arm. He remembered Draco's, lined with scars.

Frowning, Harry picked up the razor and pressed it to his skin. Maybe this would help him escape the numbness he'd been feeling since Draco had died.

Slowly, he drew the blade across his arm, feeling a jolt of pain. He watched as the blood welled, a singled drop falling and staining the cover of Draco's Potion's textbook.

Standing, Harry slipped the razor in his pocket.

**Author's Note-**And that's the end. What do you think? Believable? Didn't see it coming? Review and tell me.

Sorry to everyone who wanted them to be happy and be together. I didn't want a happy ending; I didn't seem believable with emo Draco.

I'm so sad it's over! I really liked it and I loved writing it. Oh well, guess I'll have to start writing a new fic.

From 6/26/11 to 7/1/11, I will not be able to respond to reviews because I will be at church camp and I won't have access to computers, iPods, etc. I will check my email the minute I get home. Also, from 7/3/11 to 7/9/11, I will be on vacation, and may not be able to respond very often. Sorry about that. I will try to respond as often as I can, but I don't know if we'll have wifi where we're staying, and if we do, we'll be doing stuff the whole day. Sorry for the inconvenience.


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